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Hupomone (Greek) is translated as being steadfast, constant and enduring. It is also synonymous to a patient enduring, sustaining perseverance that gives a picture of the staying power that keeps a man going to the end. Hupomone was birthed out of the heart of pilgrimage of a very trying but nevertheless fulfilling season.

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hears on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah."
Psalm 84:5-8

Given that about 5 years has passed since the birth of Hupomone, coupled with a certain divine revelation and the kindness of the Lord, Hupomone has now taken a new direction. Gone is the season of the past, but the coming of a new season. This time around, I am certain that it will be good because, beyond the shadow of a doubt, He is good and happy is he who is not offended in Him.


"Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in teh seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the Lord
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers."
Psalm 1:1-3


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Bethel Church
Bill Johnson Ministries
The Elijah List

Management Stuff I refer to...

The Balanced Scorecard Institute
Changing Minds ~ Models, Tools and Framework Reference
Corporate Governance ~ CG Reference
12 Manage ~ Models, Tools and Framework Reference

Journals or management blogs or sites I like to read from

800 CEO Read
Art Petty: Management Excellence
All Business Resources for SMEs
IESE Business Insight
Ivey Business Journal
Human Resources Leader
Knowledge Management Asia
Managing Partner magazine
Monash Industry Engagement Group
The Practice of Leadership
CFO.com

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Asianing.com
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Ah Swee's ~ SuYiN
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Saturday, July 04, 2009

Failure

Nothing seems to be working over in Malaysia.

I am returning to Melbourne, empty and gravely disappointed.

Not too sure how long more till something will turn out for the better.

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Jon blew the autumn leaves at 11:33 AM

1 comments
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Friday, July 03, 2009

...

I am feeling so sick in the gut... threw up quite a fair bit a while ago and reckon I can throw up some more. Strange thing is, I haven't been eating as well.. and I don't think I can eat at all.

Haven't been sleeping for a few days.. and every part of me feels like it's not functioning properly.

Can't think.

Really tired and zombified.

Gonna try to prepare for a meeting and try to keep sane.

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Jon blew the autumn leaves at 1:01 PM

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

CONNIE

I managed to catch up with Connie today and it made my day.

I was a happy camper after I ended my day with her because of the following:

1) I had my coffee and nasi lemak.

2) I realized how Connie's been restored in many ways (I guess) from the many years ago. Indeed she's glowing nowadays. Seeing and hearing her out made me realize how many things are possible. So, in a way I am a happy camper. I am happy for her and of course.. the very happy news. Well, truly, the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. It kinda stirred hope in me that good things are really possible. Well... it does not take faith to expect bad things, rather to the contrary.. it takes alot of faith to believe.

So, here I am.. fighting the spirit of stupid and trying not to think beyond what the Lord has promised. I am busy working out on the business opportunities and eating what Shelen spoke to me about; game theory, confidence, CBA, opportunities and persistence. Apart from that, I have alot of questions in my head begging me to think further.. but I reckon I will just shelf them for the time being.

Of course I still do think of many people whom I have lost contact with over the years.. but I guess.. my mind and soul make good servants than anything else.

Gonna go camping now... found a place I reckon I can hide myself for a while... happy camper.

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Jon blew the autumn leaves at 3:57 AM

Friday, June 26, 2009

Preparing for a long trip

I stayed up last night to gather my thoughts together after having talked to Yatz about the business and the wrestling that's been going on in my head since the day I touched down in Kuala Lumpur a few weeks back. I must admit that the trip hasn't exactly been an easy one because I have somehow not been happy since I returned. Given that Malaysia's "home" isn't a true reflection of what home would mean to me. In some ways, the "home" here is synonymous to that of a hotel.

I found that I have not been able to sleep well since I got back. The moment I try to rest, I find myself thinking of many things as well as regret a bunch. Perhaps it's the cumulation of frustration of wanting to get things done, or perhaps it's the fear of things past.

Although many would think that Jon would have had everything in control, sometimes I feel like walking away from everyone and just go to a place where no one would know me at all. Maybe that's the reason why I am much happier in Australia. But, this time around, my trip to Malaysia is to purely make money. My objective in this country is to setup businesses in this country and also abroad. hence, there will be alot of collaboration and forced-forgetfulness in order to get things done (the art of clamping up).

I told Yatz last night that I cannot afford to waste and lose time. Therefore I will continue to push myself beyond what I am able to capacitate, not for the gung-ho ness of things.. but rather to see what I am able to capacitate. I intend to take back what is rightfully mine and perhaps take a few Singaporean businesses along the way.

In all truthfulness, maybe I am motivated by hurt or plainly by the spirit of stupid.

Somehow, I find no solace here. Then again, good ol Jon's been seeking for a place to call home for a very long time. Good ol Jon's been longing to find a place to rest and perhaps smile once more.

So, before the spirit of stupid will go on full throttle to govern the way I think, I thought it wise to find out the process of my thinking and the motivation behind why I am behaving the way I do. Quite fairly, the results are appalling. Nevertheless, the good thing is, I know my weaknesses and things which trigger me to spiral down. Knowing which, I guess I will not search for things I can do about it.

Instead of going camping.. I can at least now go on a road trip to find some answers.

Btw - I found out that Jimmy's family has left and cannot be reached.

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Jon blew the autumn leaves at 2:33 PM

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A very tired Jon

It's 3:06 am Melbourne time but 1:06 am Malaysian time and Jon can't sleep. As I am typing out my blog, I gotta admit that I am really very tired. Ironically, I can't sleep, but think of tonight's dinner.

Although the food was really good, it's not so much the food that kept me thinking but rather the people who I had dinner with. Tonight I had dinner with my former suppliers and the 2 jokers who took over dad's business. Somehow, the dinner tonight made Jon a very sad person. As I sat through the dinner, made small talk and also observed the people sated before me, I couldn't help but be filled with regret.

As I looked around, I couldn't stop but wonder if I made the right choice to give everything up and follow the "voice" to Melbourne. It took me a few months to discover myself and it was in Melbourne that I made peace or rather was able to forgive myself and move on. I reckon Melbourne made me see many different things as well as made me realize many thing I never knew existed within me.

As much as I regret, tonight I realized that I do not have any more tears to cry.

Although tonight is one of the saddest night, I feel that I do not have the luxury to share my heart with anyone. As strange as it seems, and although I keep reminding myself that it does not take faith to expect good but on the contrary, I reckon I can't have anything better. The Jon'z somehow feels a lil lonely and sad tonight.

In the midst of the mind churning thoughts, I told dad that I would like to have alot of money, power and influence. I told dad tonight that I would like to work with CEO to regain all that I have lost and also hijack businesses around me... especially the business of someone I know in Singapore. I do not want to get even with anyone, but sometimes it is so tempting to get even. For once I reckon I would like to just take away from everyone what was taken away from me. Then again, that's the spirit of stupid talking. Nevertheless, I would like to take away the business of a particular someone I used to know in Singapore.

Anyhow, that's how my mind in working tonight.

Perhaps I am just too tired, discouraged, lonely and hurt for a very long time. I wish I had someone who I can talk to tonight.. but even my parents or friends are not available.

If I had a wish, I wish I could turn back time and make things right.

Maybe this is the spirit of stupid talking.. or perhaps, I am just too tired trying so hard to pick up the pieces.

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Jon blew the autumn leaves at 2:57 AM

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The night Jon almost got killed

It was like any other night on the same stretch of road heading home at 10:30 pm. Hence it was fairly early for any night life to begin.

As I drove in the middle lane of the road, I noticed a black BMW on my left and a white car in front of me with no vehicles tailing me or on my right. Then, I noticed the black BMW edging over to my lane. As it approached 2 inches away from my side mirror, I honked at it to indicate that it was just too close to the car. Seeing that there was no room ahead of my car for the black vehicle to overtake and neither was it safe to apply the hand brakes or noticing if the black car had an intent to change lanes, I honked again. However, as I honked, the car suddenly made a hard right turn into my lane.

Instantly, I blacked out for 2 seconds and the car I drove spun on the highway. In that 2 seconds, the car was maneuvered safely to a straight path. When I recovered from the black out, I realized that the black BMW was already on my right, with the driver blasting his horn at me and driving very aggressively. I also noticed then that I had missed a road divider that could have sent me flying off the fly-over.

When I got home and thought about the incident, I was left puzzled by the incident.

I wasn't sure what made the car spin, because there was no contact between both cars and I wasn't sure how the car was maneuvered when I blacked out. Nevertheless, it sure was a Yay God moment.

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Jon blew the autumn leaves at 11:59 AM

Friday, May 08, 2009

Mi Corazon

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Jon blew the autumn leaves at 9:49 AM

Just some thoughts..

There is something about not being able to sleep for a season. 

As far as I cam remember, I have not been sleeping well for five year and somehow the problem got worse this year. However, I am glad that I am able to really sleep now... after all these years. It's like I can find rest and smile in my sleep.. although that will be another long "Jon" story. 

Anyhow, I woke up this morning with a few strange thoughts.. that can be summed as follows:

"What feeds me feeds them.."
"I cannot afford to be anything that I do not find in the person of Jesus.."
"I must not have a thought in my head that is not in His.."
It was strange as I had illustrations of these thoughts in my head all morning whilst I was in bed. I wonder what's with these thoughts.. well at least it'll keep me thinking.

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Jon blew the autumn leaves at 9:39 AM